Showing posts with label likeability vs normal. Show all posts
Showing posts with label likeability vs normal. Show all posts

Monday, July 20, 2009

Are you the loud cell phone talker?


Have you ever noticed that when people answer their cell phones in public, their voice suddenly raises several octaves?

Why do people feel the need to talk as though they are stuck in a wind tunnel and the only way to give the listener the most valuable of all information is to talk so loud as if their life depends on it?

This is something that has always confused me. It never fails, as soon as you walk into a store or a restaurant, someone will get a phone call and go from a normal inside talking voice to that of an obnoxious celebrity that needs to tell all their fans and paparazzi what is happening.

I think the public cell phone call makes the talker feel like they are starring in their own movie and all the people around them are just “extras” or “fans” getting a glimpse into your life.

Since you are the star of the movie, you have to “over” talk, make yourself sound WAY more important then you really are, or laugh louder than normal to entertain your audience.

It’s almost as if the cell phone gives people a feeling of importance and empowerment that otherwise doesn’t exist. The public phone call is your opportunity to “show off” your power, control, humor, stature, popularity, or any other role that is otherwise lacking in your normal daily life.

When the phone rings, your fifteen minutes of fame begins.

I’m going to burst your bubble just a little bit. It’s not fun to be an “extra” in someone else’s movie. It is actually really annoying and somewhat inconsiderate of others around you.

Now I have to admit, from time to time I have actually been entertained by the “I’m so important talker.” For some reason, I gain enjoyment from listening to people talk about how they are thinking about quitting their job and how their company will really miss their valuable input when they are gone, yada, yada, yada speak. Or my personal favorite is the “I’m gonna tell my boss off talker”.

This is always funny for me. I love the people that tell other people how they either told their boss off or that they are going to. I am willing to bet very few of those “telling your boss off” conversations ever really happen, so it always perks up my ears when I hear that kind of talk.

I realize that most of these conversations take place in more of a “blowing of steam” manner, but when they happen on the cell phone in public, they are always in the harsh factual power tone so their audience gets the impression they are a real force on their job. I think it is the ego boost that derives from other people hearing of your importance is the real reason for this kind of talk.

The thing about being the “loud cell phone talker guy” that impacts likeability is simple. You lose credibility when you talk “big” talk or you are obviously making yourself seem over important.

It really means that you may lack the internal confidence to not need this extra ego boost to always perform at a high level. Aside from that, you never know how is in your audience, perhaps it is someone that knows you or works with you. Maybe it is a manager at a company you would like to work for and you show up for an interview and they remember you as the annoying loud talker.

The best rule of thumb here is when your phone rings in a public setting, walk away from the majority of people and have your conversation somewhat privately. If you need to yell to have your listener hear you, get a new cell phone.

Curt Fletcher aka The Likeability Guy, is a Real Estate Professional, Business Development Strategist, Published Author of the book, “How To Sell More Homes and Increase Your Income,” Sales Trainer, and Professional Speaker that focuses on improving your Likeability to increase your Opportunities for Success!

Monday, July 13, 2009

Likeability vs Normal


The conversation comes up from time to time about what the difference is between Likeable behavior and normal behavior.

For some people, they are one in the same, but for many they are substantially different.

Here is a list of some of the differences:


  1. Likeability is opening doors for people. All people. It is holding a door for a couple extra seconds to allow someone to walk through it. It is being aware of other people around you. Normal is being oblivious to your surroundings. It is about letting the door you just opened close in the face of the person directly behind you. It is watching someone struggle with opening a door and doing nothing to help.


  2. Likeability is introducing yourself to a new person on a job and making yourself available should they need it. Normal is being quiet and not offering assistance. Normal is the thought that, "I learned on my own, so can they."


  3. Likeability is listening during a conversation and responding with something that directly correlates to what the other person is saying. Normal is waiting to speak during a conversation to make your statement. Your statement has nothing to do with the other person's comments.


  4. Likeability is volunteering for something that other people don't want to do. Normal is waiting for someone else speak up.


  5. Likeability is helping someone that needs help without regard to your personal advancement. Normal is offering to help another person if it leads to a better opportunity for you.


  6. Likeability is being yourself and acting the same regardless of who may be listening. Normal is changing your personality dependant on who is in the same room and possibly paying attention.


  7. Likeability is taking a personal risk to attempt to succeed at something you love. It is risking failure in attempt to succeed. Normal is always being "safe" and grinding out day after day in something that you dislike doing. It is never risking anything to take your shot.


  8. Likeability is living your life in accordance to the same message you speak. Normal is talking about the right things and then actually doing something else.


  9. Likeability is being able to "make fun" of your self when you make a mistake or screw something up. It is letting people laugh with you at your own expense. Normal is blaming your mistake on someone else and getting angry when someone tries to call you on it.


  10. Likeability is not making excuses when things don't go as planned. It is about looking at a "one time" failure as an opportunity to learn and win next time. Normal is always making excuses when something goes bad, not learning anything from the experience and repeating the same action at a later time.


Curt Fletcher aka The Likeability Guy, is a Real Estate Professional, Business Development Strategist, Published Author of the book, "How To Sell More Homes and Increase Your Income," Sales Trainer, and Professional Speaker that focuses on improving your Likeability to increase your Opportunities for Success!