It's called..."The Way it is"

I bet I have the conversation at least once a day with someone that is upset, disappointed, annoyed, or just flat out depressed about some situation.

It could be that they didn't get the job they wanted, pay increase, bonus, present, discount, or whatever. In each situation, something seems to have gone wayward from what was either hoped for or expected.

Virtually every conversation stems from the fact the REAL result of a situation went poorly. Each time, the person dwells on the result for longer than necessary and it negatively affects a NEW future result.

Here is the simple fact:

It is what it is.

Whatever negative result that happened....already happened. It cannot be changed. The longer that situation is top of mind and affecting your attitude you will not be very productive.

That being said, here are a few tips to dealing with an unfortunate outcome:

1. If you didn't get the job you wanted, pay raise you were expecting, or promotion that you feel you deserve, ask why. Rather then take the news at a negative face value, take the opportunity to learn something. Perhaps there is something you need to improve or knowledge to be gained before taking on something you aren't really ready for.



2. If you are in a relationship with someone or attempting to date someone and you like them significantly more then they like you it can take an emotional toll. If over time, the situation has not improved, stop forcing it. It is what it is. Everybody isn't meant for everybody, no matter how much you try. Do yourself a giant emotional favor and end the attempted relationship and move on.



3. Lets say that you grew up with a less than stellar parent combination which led to some less then favorable growing up conditions. It happens. It happens with a lot of people. If you are over the age of eighteen, you are considered an adult. This means you control your life, mood, and situation. If you still dwell on "growing up" conditions from a parent beyond the age of thirty, you need to look within yourself to solve the problem...nobody else. Never blame your shortcomings as an adult on parental influences as a child.

Life is what it is. Time keeps moving and you can't look back...unless you are learning something. This does not include obsessive reminiscing, wishing you could "be back in a situation," or blaming others for your current level of unhappiness.

I challenge anyone that has these feelings to look inward, take TOTAL control of your life and emotional well being. Sometimes this takes help and guidance from another person to show you the way. When you ask for help, be certain you are ready to receive it, or the benefits will be fleeting at best.

Live in the moment and live for your future, the past is what it is and it's long gone.

Curt Fletcher aka The Likeability Guy, is a Real Estate Professional, Business Development Strategist, Published Author of the book, "How To Sell More Homes and Increase Your Income," Sales Trainer, and Professional Speaker that focuses on improving your Likeability to increase your Opportunities for Success!

Sleepy Time Power Down

At what point do you check out mentally?

We all have certain things that we have a genuine non interest in doing, but we have to do them anyway. For the most part, we fight through the apathy of disinterest and do what we have to do. However, there is always that one thing that immediately results in a complete mental shutdown or power down.

• It could be that moment of a particular conversation where you realize the other person is not listening to you.


• It could be that when a particular required task comes up and you don't understand the purpose of it, the task then feels pointless.


• Maybe it's when someone is trying to motivate, but it is way over the top and seems phony.

The problem with the total power down is that sometimes when you tune out mentally, you could miss something substantial.

So how do you stay mentally checked in the majority of the time?

1. Understand that while every task may not be that important, until you are in a position to make changes the task must still be done.


2. When you realize that someone is not listening to you, either stop talking and walk away or ask them why they aren't listening.


3. If some is coming across as the "over" motivator understand they are trying to bring up the level of excitement in an effort to get a better result. If nobody seems to be responding to the message, perhaps a conversation with the person that hired the over motivator is necessary.

I have been guilty of letting myself power down on many occasions in the past, but eventually realized that I was only harming my future productivity by not being in control of my mental awareness.

Is it hard to always be at least marginally tuned in? Yes it is.

But it is worse to check out mentally and miss out on a huge opportunity that you didn't allow yourself to be receptive too.

Curt Fletcher aka The Likeability Guy, is a Real Estate Professional, Business Development Strategist, Published Author of the book, "How To Sell More Homes and Increase Your Income," Sales Trainer, and Professional Speaker that focuses on improving your Likeability to increase your Opportunities for Success!