Thursday, February 14, 2008

Are you the Star of your own movie?

Have you ever noticed that when people answer their cell phones in public, their voice suddenly raises several octaves?

Why do people feel the need to talk as though they are stuck in a wind tunnel and the only way to give the listener the most valuable of all information is to talk so loud as if their life depends on it?

This is something that has always confused me. It never fails, as soon as you walk into a store or a restaurant, someone will get a phone call and go from a normal inside talking voice to that of an obnoxious celebrity that needs to tell all their fans and paparazzi what is happening.

I think the public cell phone call makes the talker feel like they are starring in their own movie and all the people around them are just “extras” or “fans” getting a glimpse into your life.

Since you are the star of the movie, you have to “over” talk, make yourself sound WAY more important then you really are, or laugh louder than normal to entertain your audience.

It’s almost as if the cell phone gives people a feeling of importance and empowerment that otherwise doesn’t exist. The public phone call is your opportunity to “show off” your power, control, humor, stature, popularity, or any other role that is otherwise lacking in your normal daily life.

When the phone rings, your fifteen minutes of fame begins.

I’m going to burst your bubble just a little bit. It’s not fun to be an “extra” in someone else’s movie. It is actually really annoying and somewhat inconsiderate of others around you.

Now I have to admit, from time to time I have actually been entertained by the “I’m so important talker.” For some reason, I gain enjoyment from listening to people talk about how they are thinking about quitting their job and how their company will really miss their valuable input when they are gone, yada, yada, yada speak. Or my personal favorite is the “I’m gonna tell my boss off talker”.

This is always funny for me. I love the people that tell other people how they either told their boss off or that they are going to. I am willing to bet very few of those “telling your boss off” conversations ever really happen, so it always perks up my ears when I hear that kind of talk.

I realize that most of these conversations take place in more of a “blowing of steam” manner, but when they happen on the cell phone in public, they are always in the harsh factual power tone so their audience gets the impression they are a real force on their job. I think it is the ego boost that derives from other people hearing of your importance is the real reason for this kind of talk.

The thing about being the “loud cell phone talker guy” that impacts likeability is simple. You lose credibility when you talk “big” talk or you are obviously making yourself seem over important.

It really means that you may lack the internal confidence to not need this extra ego boost to always perform at a high level. Aside from that, you never know who is in your audience, perhaps it is someone that knows you or works with you. Maybe it is a manager at a company you would like to work for and you show up for an interview and they remember you as the annoying loud talker.

The best rule of thumb here is when your phone rings in a public setting, walk away from the majority of people and have your conversation somewhat privately. If you need to yell to have your listener hear you, get a new cell phone.